Category: Uncategorized

Can Music Heal?

Yes, music can certainly contribute to healing processes. According to the late and iconic Bob Marley, “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain”. Music is a temporary form of relieving your anguish in a healthy way. From hearing the beat, harmonies/melodies, and lyrics, we instantly escape our realities. Even if it is just for a few minutes.

Mind Body Green posted an article on 6 ways music can heal you. Below is a brief paraphrased summary of the 6 ways:

  1. Listening to music releases a chemical named, dopamine. Dopamine is responsible for controlling the brain’s response to pleasure and reward centers. 
  2. Helps your cardiovascular system. Most likely, you want to get up and move and be active when listening to your favourite artist/ band.
  3. Shifts your thinking towards a positive perspective.
  4. Changes your mood and can ease your feelings anxiety, depression, or grief.
  5. Music aids you in remembering special life events you associate with the song/ artist.
  6. A research study found blood cells respond to sound frequencies within the body.

Music forms an instant sense of belonging and safety allowing you to relax and regulate your mood. Therefore, music heals!

 

(photo from cliparts.co)

Just Keep Breathing….Just Keep Breathing…

Just inhale in and exhale out, right? Sounds easy, but may not be so simple.

After a stressful day or week, what are some things you do that help you decompress? Some go to the gym and others may have that occasional alcoholic beverage to relax, but how about controlled breathing?

Controlled breathing can help decrease stress and increase mental alertness. Similarly, to attending a yoga class. Yogi’s have incorporated breath attunement in their practice for centuries. Research studies validated the benefits of controlled breathing on those who suffer from depression and anxiety. By slowly taking in concentrated breaths in and out supplies your body with oxygen and stabilizes your nervous system. Due to our environment being chaotic and fast paced, we can lose track on how stress effects our bodies.

Allowing yourself a few minutes each day to regulate your breath is helpful in maintaining a balance. Below is a simple script of controlled breathing copied and pasted from the article Breathe. Exhale. Repeat: The Benefits of Controlled Breathing:

“1. Sitting upright or lying down, place your hands on your belly.

2. Slowly breathe in, expanding your belly, to the count of five.

3. Pause.

4. Slowly breathe out to the count of six.

5. Work your way up to practicing this pattern for 10 to 20 minutes a day.”

Happy breathing!

(photo taken from Cliparts.co)

 

How To Help Your Child Through A Meltdown

Parenting has many challenges, especially when responding to your child’s meltdowns. You may find yourself panicking on how to respond to them. The best course of action is to always take a deep breath and know they are not doing anything on purpose. Once you can do that, you are able to respond to their needs.

The online article 20 Things To Say To Your Child Instead Of “Don’t Cry”  has some wonderful and helpful tips on how you can respond to your child. The article referenced the common responses that parents say to their child, such as “don’t cry” or “it makes me sad to see you cry”. These statements can directly and indirectly tell your child that their innate response to pain/ suffering should be kept private or that the child is causing the parent harm by expressing a natural emotional response.

Helping your child build their emotional resources by normalizing their responses is the first step. Acknowledging they are having a hard time and that you are there for them is a step in the right direction. The 20 responses to say to your child was copied and pasted below. I thought they were helpful tips in responding to your child.

1. I’m right here
2. I see how upset you are
3. I’m sorry this is hard, Love
4. I’ll be with you while you are upset
5. I’m not going anywhere
6. You are safe
7. There’s nothing more important than being with you right now
8. I’m sorry… you lost your lamby/your friend said that/you dropped your ice cream
9. I hear you Sweetheart

Drawing attention repeatedly back to the facts that are driving the upset:
10. You really wanted…that toy/some ice cream/daddy to stay home/to go to the park
11. That…dog/kid/ride/the way I shouted scared you
12. Let’s have another look at your hurt…knee/finger/toe

Holding a limit around the situation (and listening to the protests):
13. I can’t let you…go to that party/hit her/have that treat/play with my glasses
14. I need you to…put your shoes on/finish your homework/get in the car now

Reminding them of the hopeful perspective on the situation (and listening to their hopeless response):
15. You’ll get chocolate again soon
16. I know you’ll figure this all out
17. Mummy is coming back later
18. I’m sure you can still have a good time
19. You’ll do just fine with the tshirt we have
20. It won’t be like this forever

(photo taken from cliparts.co)

Does Stress Affect the Brain?

Stress can feel inevitable at times and just a part of life. We all have our ways to cope and manage stressors in our lives. It is when stress becomes chronic and our ways of managing does not remedy the situation. The Ted ED made a video on How stress affects your brain. It is posted below with a summary of the video.

Video Summary:

  • Chronic stress does affect your brain size and functionality.
  • The hypothalamus pituitary Adrenal Axis (HPAA), is the part of your brain where stress begins. It is a series of actions of endocrine glands in the brain and kidney that controls your response to stress.
  • When under stress your HPAA is activated and releases a hormone called cortisol.
  • Cortisol prepares you to respond to the stress ie. fight, flight or freeze.
  • High levels of cortisol changes the neural connections in the part of the brain called the Amygdala. This part of the brain is the fear center.
  • When cortisol levels increase, signals are sent to the part of the brain called the Hippocampus. This part of the brain is associated with learning, memories, and stress regulation starts to deteriorate due to the chronic stress arousal.
  • The hippocampus prevents the HPAA from managing stress (weakens you ability to manage stress).
  • Chronic cortisol levels can shrink your brain and reduces the amount of synaptic connections between neurons in the brain.
  • This shrinking affects the prefrontal cortex. This region regulates behaviours (such as decision making, concentration, judgement and social interactions). therefore, chronic stress may make it difficult to remember and learn new things.
  • These changes can lead to bigger problems like depression and then eventually Alzheimer disease.

A Study on Rats:

  •  A study completed with rats showed that a mother’s nurturance (emotional and physical response) to her baby played a huge role on how the baby will respond to stress later in life.
  • These babies with nurturing moms turned out less sensitive to stress because their brain developed more cortisol receptors. These receptors stick to cortisol and lessens the stress response.
  • The rats with negligent moms had the opposite outcomes and were highly sensitive to stress. These changes can be changed if the moms were nurturing and can alter the next generation of babies.

There is Hope:

  • To reverse the affects cortisol has on your brain is to exercise, and meditation/ mindfulness. This increases the size of the hippocampus and lessens your stress and improves your memory.

(Photo taken from Cliparts.co)

Consent

Consent is an important component in keeping individuals safe. Although there is a law on consent, it seems to still confuse some people when it shouldn’t.

Unfortunately, we still live in a society that believes that rape culture is acceptable. This acceptance is largely condoned by our justice system and how they treat perpetrators and survivors. Every time a perpetrator receives a reduced sentence or the validity of a survivor’s disclosure is questioned. It reinforces rape culture.

The important take away here is, that we continue to talk about the laws of consent to educate our youth. Starting with our young children. The discussion should not be just one, it should be several conversations with your children.

The Huffington Post wrote an article about teaching your child about consent. I paraphrased some key points below, but it is a recommended read.

  1. Teach your child to ask for permission
  2. Help create empathy
  3. Teach your child that “no” and “stop” are important words. Your child may say no and stop often, so it is important that you listen and stop.
  4. Teach your child about non-verbal cues ie. facial expressions
  5. Never force your child to kiss, hug, or touch another person
  6. Encourage your child to wash their own genitals
  7. Teach your child about their body and allow them to talk about it.

These are just a few important points but the article has so much more to offer in educating parents and children.

The video below was so brilliant that It had to be circulated regrading consent.

photo taken from cliparts.co

Children and Mindfulness

Mindfulness may feel like a buzz word that is floating around. The fact is, it is not a buzz word or a fad. It is a way of life and can provide you with meaning and purpose. Essentially, to be mindful it means to be attuned to your feelings, thoughts, surroundings, and body. That may sound overwhelming but once you get the hang of it, it will become a natural process.

Unfortunately, our society tends to focus on doing things in a fast pace without really taking notice of how it impacts you. This way of existence can cause many forms of ailments, such as anxiety and depression. Therefore, It is important to notice and take time for yourself. Start each day by noticing your breath and how it moves in and out of your body. That will lead you into other avenues to be attuned.

I found an article that provides 7 ways to teach your children about mindfulness. Since role modelling is one of the essential components to a healthy attachment, do it with them!

Here is a video on how mindfulness can empower you. Enjoy!

(photo taken by cliparts.co)

Children and Technology

Science and technology in the 21st century is advanced and amazing. We can access just about anything right at our finger tips. Obviously, there are several advantages in having advanced technology in North America, however there are always disadvantages. The disadvantages surround our younger population. Specifically, our children and youth. They are exposed to iphones, video games, and ipads etc. at a young age without any idea of what that may do to their developing brains.

It is very common and apart of our culture to allow our children to freely use these devices, however, when done in excess it can be disruptive. Creating structure, safety, and boundaries with the use of technology is always important. That means, set a time limit and always be in front of your child while they are playing/ interacting. Your child may resist if these are new rules but in time, they will be happy you did.

The article below provides information and details on ways you can create structure with your children and their technology use.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201604/3-mistakes-parents-make-technology

(photo taken by Cliparts.co)

The Teenage Brain

Dr. Daniel Siegel has written several books on brain development. His research has an influential impact on how we can interact with children and youth. Brain maturation ends when an individual turns 25 years old. The underdeveloped part of the brain that is still forming is called the prefrontal cortex.  The prefrontal cortex masters the following functions:

  • impulse control
  • attention
  • decision making
  • logical thinking
  • complex planning
  • organization
  • risk management
  • personality development, and
  • short term memory

These functions have an important role in healthy brain development. Understanding that your child and/ or youth are unable to follow the above functions may help when evaluating your expectations of them. Compassion goes a long way when discussing topics with your child. Hearing what their struggles are and validating them, helps break down barriers within your communication style. Remember, they are just like you and want to be heard and acknowledged too.

(Photo taken from Cliparts.co)

 

The Four Horsemen

Managing conflict in relationships can be overwhelming, especially if we are emotionally flooded. Dr. John Gottman, created the concept The Four Horsemen. He focused on four destructive communication styles in relationships.

A brief summary of The Four Horsemen are:

  1. Criticism: Attacking your partners character rather than the unwanted behaviour.
  2. Defensiveness: Blaming your partner to protect yourself in an argument.
  3. Contempt: Using name calling to put down your partner when attempting to prove a point.
  4. Stonewalling: Ignoring your partner during an argument because you have withdrawn from the conversation.

The video below provides a helpful animated narrative of how this concept impacts relationships.

(Photo taken by Cliparts.co)

Anxiety and Mantras

Experiencing anxiety is normal and can affect everyone in different ways. Sometimes, anxiety can prevent a person from living a healthy and balanced life. If your anxiety is crippling, it may mean talking to a counsellor to help develop ways on managing the symptoms. Some ways that may help a person overcome anxiety is the use of Mantras.

Mantras can be whatever you desire and are a brief remedy to help you through stressful situations. The link below uses 32 different mantras from people who suffer from anxiety. Take a look and see if any of them may help you start your mantra journey.

https://www.yahoo.com/health/32-mantras-that-help-people-get-1326503740317750.html