Category: Mindfulness

Storytelling With Children

A parent’s role is one of the hardest jobs out there. Nobody can prepare you for it. You can imagine it, read about it, and or hear others talk about it, but it never really sinks in until you’re a parent. I found the parallels of parenting and teaching to be very similar. Parents teach children how to manage their emotions socially and behaviorally by role modelling. How parents deal with stress is the way your child(ren) will deal with stress. In my opinion, role modelling is one of biggest and conspicuous forms of teaching.

A inconspicuous way of teaching is through storytelling. Relating and validating your child(ren) experiences through a narrative has many healing affects for their social and emotional development. The article below discusses how narration helps kids talk about their experiences without lecturing.

http://goodmenproject.com/families/why-storytelling-is-way-better-than-lecturing-your-kids/

New Year’s Resolutions?

It is that time of year!! where we are reflecting and making New Year resolutions. Instead of creating a list of goals, why not focus on your successes? PH. D Sociologist Margee Kee, created 2 templates to help engage you in a different way. A creative way! A way that honors the milestones you have already reached. This template is called “this year I was awesome”.

successes.jpeg

Kee’s second template focuses on your fears for the New Year.  Identifying your challenges is the first step towards resolving them. Our fears are great at preventing us from reaching goals, but when we name, normalize, and challenge them we can overcome them. This template is called “I’m afraid of”.

fears.jpeg

Happy New Year!!!

 

 

Avoidance

Avoidance is a coping mechanism. When we are overwhelmed by our environment, it may seem easier to ignore the issue. In many ways, this can be viewed as emotional flooding. Avoiding issues may serve as a short term solution but if they are not resolved, it may exacerbate the problem. Below is a flow chart taken from the book, The Worry Cure by Robert Leahy. The chart provides a guide to help bring awareness on how you may address your emotions. 

 

worry-emotions

The flow chart provides three possible responses to emotions.

  1. Your emotional response is normal by: accepting it, expressing it, validate it, and learn from it.
  2. You avoid the emotional response by: ignoring it, replace it with other ways to gather control (binge eating, drinking, and drug use), and becoming numb to it.
  3. You have a negative interpretation of your emotions by: avoiding the issue (as outlined in the 2nd response mechanism), ostracize yourself by feeling guilty and ashamed for having these feelings, and feeling out of control because you have these feelings.

Avoiding uneasy feelings may lead down a pathway of feeling depressed and anxious. Therefore, decreasing the quality of life you could potentially have. Becoming aware of negative thought patterns and understanding how they influence you is the first step in finding inner peace.

Emotional Regulation

What is emotional regulation? It is the ability to manage and control an emotional response through strategies that are self-soothing. The reactivity and regulatory responses to stressful situations may cause people to respond either negatively or positively. This depends on the integration of the right and left sides of the brain. (Cicchetti, Ganiban, & Barnett, 1991; Kopp; 1982; 1989; Thompson, 1994; Siegal & Bryson, 2011).

According to Dr. Daniel Siegal (2011), he explained that the brain has two hemispheres, right brain (emotional) and the left brain (logical). The integration of accessing both sides of the brain is an important aspect to our mental well-being. The two hemispheres integrate emotional responses and logical responses to regulate our reaction to stress.

Self-awareness and attunement to emotions are the building blocks to integrate the right with the left brain. Responding to emotional needs before arriving at solutions validates feelings and creates self-actualization (fulfillment and pride).

To find out more on whether you are self-aware, take the quiz below, and keep in mind tests are not always accurate.

http://embracingcivility.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Self-Awareness-Quiz.pdf

 

Cicchetti, D., Ganiban, J., & Barnett, D. (1991). Contributions from the study of high-risk populations to understanding the development of emotion regulation.

In J. Garber & K. A. Dodge (Eds.). The development of emotion regulation and dysregulation (pp. 15–48). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

Kopp, C. (1982). Antecedents of self-regulation: A developmental perspective. Developmental Psychology, 18, 199–214.

Kopp, C. (1989). Regulation of distress and negative emotions: A developmental view. Developmental Psychology, 25, 243–254.

Siegal, D.J. & Bryson,T.P. (2001). The Whole- Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. New York: Bantam Books.

Thompson, R. A., & Calkins, S. D. (1996). The double-edged sword: Emotion regulation in high risk children. Development and Psychopathology, 8, 163–182.

http://embracingcivility.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Self-Awareness-Quiz.pdf