It is that time of year!! where we are reflecting and making New Year resolutions. Instead of creating a list of goals, why not focus on your successes? PH. D Sociologist Margee Kee, created 2 templates to help engage you in a different way. A creative way! A way that honors the milestones you have already reached. This template is called “this year I was awesome”.

Kee’s second template focuses on your fears for the New Year.  Identifying your challenges is the first step towards resolving them. Our fears are great at preventing us from reaching goals, but when we name, normalize, and challenge them we can overcome them. This template is called “I’m afraid of”.

Happy New Year!!!

Avoidance is a coping mechanism. When we are overwhelmed by our environment, it may seem easier to ignore the issue. In many ways, this can be viewed as emotional flooding. Avoiding issues may serve as a short term solution but if they are not resolved, it may exacerbate the problem. Below is a flow chart taken from the book, The Worry Cure by Robert Leahy. The chart provides a guide to help bring awareness on how you may address your emotions. 

The flow chart provides three possible responses to emotions.

1. Your emotional response is normal by: accepting it, expressing it, validate it, and learn from it.
2. You avoid the emotional response by: ignoring it, replace it with other ways to gather control (binge eating, drinking, and drug use), and becoming numb to it.
3. You have a negative interpretation of your emotions by: avoiding the issue (as outlined in the 2nd response mechanism), ostracize yourself by feeling guilty and ashamed for having these feelings, and feeling out of control because you have these feelings.

Avoiding uneasy feelings may lead down a pathway of feeling depressed and anxious. Therefore, decreasing the quality of life you could potentially have. Becoming aware of negative thought patterns and understanding how they influence you is the first step in finding inner peace.